Yet each man kills the thing he loves,
By each let this be heard,
Some do it with a bitter look,
Some with a flattering word,
The koward does it with a kiss,
The brave man with a sword!"
                     oscar wilde , the ballad of reading gaol

When was the last that I thought of you...I know not...but am I the one who goes alone on this path...and should I but care only a little for the souls that follow or those as march ahead?

Mode C is a way of life, perhaps my way of life: C for Cool, C for Cold, C for Chaos, C for Calvin. Ultimately, all of it boils down to the way you look at things. Are they not how they are but just how they appear?? No...and yes...Almost all the seriously critical fundamental concepts of life...aren't they just the bogies under Calvin's bed that he is afraid of? Miss Wormwood, Susie, Mom and Dad, and of course above all, Hobbes...aren't they all merely the means that he uses to attack these bogies?

Reflecting on 'living the Calvin way', I have started to believe that life and our reaction to it can only be explained by a number of Calvin and Hobbes strips combined together. The philosophy, as I like to call it, is to know that you are not alone. It is not just my perspective alone that is going to help me fight my bogies. I will be able to inch towards the Calvin way only when I perceive the other perspectives on my way.

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My Past
Loyola High School Patna
Delhi Public School RK Puram
Institute of Technology BHU
Infosys Technologies Ltd
IIM Kozhikode

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Kotak Mahindra Bank Ltd.

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My Life

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Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna
Harry Potter and The Goblet of Fire
Batman Begins
War of the Worlds
Mr. & Mrs. Smith
Bunty aur Babli
Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith
Veer Zaara
Phir Milenge
Kyun! Ho Gaya Na
Mujhse Shaadi Karogi
Spider Man 2
Main Hoon Na

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Stay Hungry Stay Foolish
The Inscrutable Americans
Harry Potter - Half-Blood Prince
The Monk who sold his Ferrari
Angels and Demons
Life of Pi
The Da Vinci Code
The Tristan Betrayal

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All pictures and names concerning Calvin and Hobbes are copyright Bill Watterson

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Tuesday, May 04, 2004
Freedom in chains??

Sometimes I really wonder...Is freedom really free? The types of costs associated with freedom make it such a coveted possession that the very freedom of freedom comes under the shadow of doubt. Why I wonder thus, you may ask. When I was preparing for JEE, I had one nice thought in my mind which always used to drive me and that was to aim at a peaceful future where I will have the freedom to choose the way I want to shape my own life.

I used to earnestly believe that an IIT education (or an IT education, as in my case) will help me reach just that position. Infosys has indeed been a revelation, however. I had heard long tales of people putting in long hours at work in IT industry but I always used to pass it off as their lack of competence or their absolute dearth of choice. I had none, I believed, that was till I joined Infosys. I have spent so man night outs (as we call them) here that it is really difficult to talk of freedom and my job in the same breath. The reason why I am cribbing right now is that yesterday was another such night out, and no, it was not because I lacked competence. It was not because I did not have a choice. In fact, I had my Spiderman novel all lined up.

The Global Delivery Model, as envisaged by Infosys and other IT gurus does not work so well if you have an Onsite Offshore ratio of 1:5. The offshore team does need to provide support if there is a single person at Onsite working on a User Acceptance Testing Set Up. Similarly, the onsite person does need to stay awake at nights if there are some critical issues that need to be discussed over the phone and can not be really discussed over the email. This model, though very useful for the people who matter (the client and the company), does not really serve its purpose if you consider all stakeholders.

To cut the long story short, I went home yesterday, or rather today, at about 3 AM and all the way home, I was thinking the dark thoughts that I have put above. But I do tend to forget some things whenever I have these dark thoughts. One such thing in this case has been the time I came to office today..2 PM. Justice, what?

Posted at 05:56 pm by Nitai

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Monday, May 03, 2004
One long day

Another day passes with neither news nor immediate hope of the IIMK results. It is strange, the way this thing has started getting a hold over me. Even after busying myself the whole of the weekend in finally completing the book, Lord of The Rings, I could not help thinking about what will happen.

And the dreams turned traitor, too. Instead of counting sheep as the normally normal people (that is, those who are not abnormally abnormal), I was counting the number of times I keyed in my test registration number on K's results site (There too, I lost the count, finally). I entered a wrong number every time but every time, I saw the Congratulations message being displayed. But Oh my treachorous dream! For the very last time, as soon as I entered my correct credentials, I saw what I was dreading and yet half expecting: Sorry! You have not been selected for PGP 2004-2006 at IIMK. This is not a judgement on your abilities and blah....

Yes, I know that it is not a judgement on my abilities and all that but wouldn't it have been all the better if I had been selected. But nothing to worry, Sonny Boy (as Bertie would have said in one of those PGW novels) because as my Mom keeps pointing out, it is the morning dream that's important. No matter how many times all other dreams make you count sheep (or keying-ins, as in my case), they are all helpless before the One. I was happily wandering in my BHU hostel when I woke up and taking this as sign of days to come, (no, I am not just ready to go back to BHU yet, but you know what I mean, don't you?) I guess that I might be in a good shape after all.

Today was going to be a long day, by all counts. As if thinking and dreading of the results was not enough, my OnSite Coordinator wants support tonight for the User Testing setup. Another matter it entirely is, that I was allowed to come to office late to compensate for staying late. And yet another matter it utterly and completely is, that I still chose to come to office early to beat the Chennai heat, and yet another matter it absolutely and convincingly is, that it rained the whole day today in Chennai (yes, you got that right, in Chennai). Just to add, I got drenched while coming to office, in fact, right at the office gates, so to say.
But the one good thing that happened today is this blog. I don't know how long I am going to keep at it. I don't know if it is just a fad that came to me after reading so many of K people's blogs. But still, here goes my two pence worth...


Posted at 07:08 pm by Nitai

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