Yet each man kills the thing he loves,
By each let this be heard,
Some do it with a bitter look,
Some with a flattering word,
The koward does it with a kiss,
The brave man with a sword!"
                     oscar wilde , the ballad of reading gaol







When was the last that I thought of you...I know not...but am I the one who goes alone on this path...and should I but care only a little for the souls that follow or those as march ahead?

Mode C is a way of life, perhaps my way of life: C for Cool, C for Cold, C for Chaos, C for Calvin. Ultimately, all of it boils down to the way you look at things. Are they not how they are but just how they appear?? No...and yes...Almost all the seriously critical fundamental concepts of life...aren't they just the bogies under Calvin's bed that he is afraid of? Miss Wormwood, Susie, Mom and Dad, and of course above all, Hobbes...aren't they all merely the means that he uses to attack these bogies?

Reflecting on 'living the Calvin way', I have started to believe that life and our reaction to it can only be explained by a number of Calvin and Hobbes strips combined together. The philosophy, as I like to call it, is to know that you are not alone. It is not just my perspective alone that is going to help me fight my bogies. I will be able to inch towards the Calvin way only when I perceive the other perspectives on my way.



   
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Friday, July 09, 2004
Some more disillusionment

Life here at IIMK continues to amaze and disappoint me. Is there absolutely no difference between the first year of an undergraduate degree college and that of a professional institution like IIM giving an MBA degree? The immaturity is the same, the shouting is the same, the utter lack of mutual understanding and respect is the same, so how the hell can this be called a premier institution of higher learning? I know that what I am writing may be called frustration and initial blues of some first timer but a first timer, I certainly am not. I have been a part of the hostel life on two previous occassions and I could understand the way things were at both the places, that is in my higher secondary school and in the engineering college. However, I completely fail to understand that in a batch of supposedly high work experience graduates, how can people still stand on a podium and shout down on others as if they are holding some political position and gracing the others with their views/words?

I can fully understand and appreciate the kind of work they are doing to strike deals with dealers for utilities like mobile connection and laptops/desktops but are we really so immature as to gather in the middle of the night in the Open Air Theatre and get up on a podium and shout like kids? Do we really need to carry forward the meaning of enthusiasm in such a childish and negative manner? Is it fair for people who are graduates with a good two years of average work experience to fight over petty things like who is going to talk about what and take credit of what? Even in the college, by the time we were in our second year, all this was passe and a strict no-no. We knew that each one of us had a mind of his own and respected them for it. There was hardly a need to ask people if they are following what is being said (apropos yesterday) at the podium by the self-appointed leaders. I know it sounds like I am cribbing because I was not one of the people shouting from the top of the podium, that I was not one of the so called leaders but honestly speaking (whether anyone believes it or not), I don't care two hoots about these things now. Having come across so many people and so much at school and college and even at office, I don't think that I need to prove anything to myself (Even at the risk of sounding immodest, I think I have already got over the need of proving anything to others).

The surprising attitude boils down to another aspect, too and that is the sex divide that exists in this campus. It looks so funny when you see people divided across two different domains because of their sex alone. It was much better in the software field from where most of our batch has come. At least I did not feel guilty and self conscious while speaking to a girl. In fact when I finally met Divya (from the senior batch) today in the mess, I could hardly speak a word apart from introducing myself and turning aside (might even have appeared rude to her). I have never been an extrovert but at the same time, I am usually not at a loss for words either. It seems strange, therefore, when I am tongue tied and almost embarassed when there is any need (why is there a need to find a need???) to talk to the opposite sex in this campus. I can not say that it is something that is a personal problem. It is not something that has been an issue with me ever in my life. I have studied in co-education schools and college and have had quite a bit of interaction with girls. I know that there is always going to be that bunch of guys who will be at the beck and call and carry out the smallest whims of their friends. But isn't the situation supposed to be different in a place like IIM where girls as well as guys know what they are going to do with their lives and are mature enough to realize that demand supply laws do not essentially have to work in emotional life?

Today was another round of orientation programmes at IIMK. I have been put into Section A which is supposed to be the more comfortable one because Dr Suma Damodaran is not going to be teaching our section this terrm and that is supposedly a reason to celebrate. The library at IIMK seems to be well equipped (at least from what I could pick up from the post lunch, half-asleep session today) and I am looking forward to check out their fiction stack. As of now, some of the guys from our batch are planning to pick up our bikes (me inclusive) and go for an outing, perhaps a movie or to some natural bonanza nearby...so more cribbing later...

Posted at 04:43 pm by Nitai



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