Yet each man kills the thing he loves,
By each let this be heard,
Some do it with a bitter look,
Some with a flattering word,
The koward does it with a kiss,
The brave man with a sword!"
                     oscar wilde , the ballad of reading gaol

When was the last that I thought of you...I know not...but am I the one who goes alone on this path...and should I but care only a little for the souls that follow or those as march ahead?

Mode C is a way of life, perhaps my way of life: C for Cool, C for Cold, C for Chaos, C for Calvin. Ultimately, all of it boils down to the way you look at things. Are they not how they are but just how they appear?? No...and yes...Almost all the seriously critical fundamental concepts of life...aren't they just the bogies under Calvin's bed that he is afraid of? Miss Wormwood, Susie, Mom and Dad, and of course above all, Hobbes...aren't they all merely the means that he uses to attack these bogies?

Reflecting on 'living the Calvin way', I have started to believe that life and our reaction to it can only be explained by a number of Calvin and Hobbes strips combined together. The philosophy, as I like to call it, is to know that you are not alone. It is not just my perspective alone that is going to help me fight my bogies. I will be able to inch towards the Calvin way only when I perceive the other perspectives on my way.

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Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna
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Veer Zaara
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Kyun! Ho Gaya Na
Mujhse Shaadi Karogi
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Main Hoon Na

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Thursday, June 10, 2010
A milestone crossed

As I sat down to write the invitation for my 30th birthday party (yes, I had one...a good one), there were several things that were going through my mind. On one side, there was the apprehension about what this new decade would bring with it, while on the other, memories of the 10 years that just went by, played in my head. The dread was setting in and so was the excitement. By the time I had finished writing the senti invite and the parody of a follow-up to it, one thing became abundantly clear to me...I was never going to be able to choose one over the other, and at least for the 9th of June 2010, it was going to be a heady mix of fear and anticipation.

So many things happened over the last ten years (considering they constitute one-third of my life, hardly a surprise) that it is difficult to really mark out anything particular and let go of the others. Most importantly, I became a qualified engineer and a manager in the last decade, which also witnessed, amongst other things, my first job, first love, first heartbreak, the adventures of MBA, my first car, a death-defying accident, big money...the list is endless.

In fact, after the rather quiet teenage spent in the safe and sheltered environs of my maternal household in Patna, the 20s were when I really became independent. From learning to cook for myself to mastering bikes (despite the accident, I actually rode them well) and cars, I was much more free with myself, much less encumbered with what repercussions any act of mine would carry. The mindset changed from a shy, small-towner to someone who has been there, done that. The attitude became full of confidence, so much so that it became a trait that marks my personality today (or so I would like to believe).

Things evolved and so did I, forming my individuality, letting go of imbibed traits or holding on to them and making them my own. There were a lot of imperfections, lot of apprehensions, instances where I was down in the dumps and others where I was right up there. All this, however, will probably happen in the coming decade as well but maybe not as frequently. At 30, I would like to believe that most of the attributes that were to shape my character are already in place and while there would be additions and deletions, they will be few and far between.

So what do I expect of the coming 10 years? I don't know really, except that additional responsibilities will come in, the family shall expand and new relationships formed, it will be time to take the plunge and leave the cushion of a well-paying job, and at the same time, get hold of and enjoy the worldly luxuries for my family and myself. I don't want to wait for the 40's to come for me to get to all this and make all these decisions. I just hope that I am fortunate (as I have been over the last 10 years) and strong enough to stick to plans and make this most important part of my life really sing.

Posted at 11:18 am by Nitai

June 24, 2010   12:08 AM PDT
Thanks for your comment!
BTW, am sorry but can't really place you by your acronym-ised name :-)
August 2, 2010   10:27 PM PDT
nice post...senti senti...mature..buddha types....but bhai....1st love nd 1st hrtbrk????????????....mausiiiiii!!!!

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